What to Do If You're Scared to Go to the Dentist (Besides Faking Your Own Death)

Midtown Vision
3 days ago
3 min read

Let’s be honest. Dentists are wonderful people. They went to school for a million years just to look into our mouths and ask us questions while we’re physically incapable of answering. And yet... there’s something about the sound of that drill that activates our fight-or-flight response faster than seeing our ex in a grocery store.

If the mere thought of sitting in that reclining chair makes you break into a cold sweat, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Millions of people are scared to go to the dentist. Fortunately, I’ve compiled a comprehensive (and totally serious*) list of things you can do to face your dental fears like the plaque-fighting warrior you truly are.

1. Bring a Support Person. Or a Comfort Goat.

It’s totally normal to bring a friend or family member with you for moral support. But if none of them are available, consider renting a comfort goat. Goats are excellent at reducing stress and distracting you by trying to eat the dental bib.

(Note: call ahead to see if your dentist has a “no hooved animals” policy.)

2. Wear Sunglasses So You Look Cool and Mysterious

Not only will this help block the blinding overhead light that turns your dentist into a celestial being mid-cleaning, but it also lets you maintain a “James Bond getting a root canal” vibe. Bonus points if you say things like, “Do what you must, Doc. But know this—I’ve eaten three packs of Skittles every day for a decade.”

3. Invent a Totally Fake Persona

Tell your dentist you’re an elite agent with highly sensitive molars. If they try to poke around too aggressively, say, “Careful, that one’s wired to a government satellite.” They won’t know how to respond, and you’ll distract yourself from the procedure. Everyone wins.

4. Practice Mindfulness. Or Just Go to Your Happy Place

Picture a beach. The ocean is gently lapping at your toes. Seagulls are cawing in the distance. Wait—nope, that’s the suction tube. Anyway, you’re calm. You’re relaxed. You’re definitely not in a room full of fluoride and judgment.

5. Bribe Yourself Shamelessly

Make a deal with yourself: if you survive the appointment, you get a reward. Ice cream? Sure. A new video game? Absolutely. Adopt a cat and name it “Dr. Flossington”? Done. Positive reinforcement works—ask literally any Labrador retriever.

6. Use the “Honest but Slightly Unhinged” Approach

When they ask how you’re doing, say something like:

“Well, I’ve been dreading this for three weeks, made a will, and told my plants goodbye—but otherwise, peachy!” Dentists are used to dental fear. A little humor breaks the ice and lets them know they might want to avoid sudden drill movements unless they want to get karate-chopped out of reflex.

7. Get the Laughing Gas. Or Bring Your Own (Kidding! Don’t.)

If your dentist offers nitrous oxide, consider saying yes. It’s like watching your dental appointment on a weird, floaty TV.

8. Ask for a Playlist

A lot of modern dentists let you listen to music during cleanings. I recommend one of the following:

"Eye of the Tiger" (to feel like a dental gladiator)
"Staying Alive" (for ironic encouragement)
The Jaws soundtrack (if you're just embracing the chaos)

9. Remind Yourself: You Are Braver Than You Believe

Seriously, you survived middle school, awkward first dates, and whatever that mystery smell in the office fridge is. You’ve got this. It’s just teeth. And a stranger with pointy tools. And suction noises. And possible mouth guilt. Okay, okay, bad pep talk—but still: you’re doing something good for your health. That’s hardcore.

10. Reward Your Dentist

If they got through your anxiety-ridden appointment with patience, kindness, and zero judgment, they deserve a thank-you. Or a candle. Or a poem. Or maybe just a promise that you’ll actually floss this time.

(Okay, don’t lie to them. They know.)

Final Thoughts: Going to the dentist might not be your idea of a great time (unless you’re into clean teeth and mild panic attacks), but you can survive it. You can even laugh through it. And the best part? Once it’s over, you’re one step closer to a healthy smile.